It was Christmas morning in the year of 1998. My brother, Peter R. Rinner, was home from college to spend the holiday with our family. Pete was two years younger than me and a student at Ohio State University in Columbus, Ohio. He was excited about graduating the following year and moving out west to begin his career. Pete stayed upstairs in the room that I had set up for him. I loved having him stay with us when he came home; I always felt so close to him.

Pete sat on the couch Christmas morning 1998 and played a few songs on the guitar. I could hear the music from the kitchen as I made breakfast. Pete was an amazing person that could always find a way to make a good day ~ better. I was 3 months pregnant with my first child and that morning was one of the happiest memories that I have. I was thinking about how blessed I was also how blessed this child would be to have such a great extended family.

It was a few weeks after this that we started noticing very drastic changes in Pete. Over the holidays, we noticed how much weight he had lost and how he had black circles under his eyes. He was more withdrawn from the family over Christmas and he hadn’t even come home for Thanksgiving a month before. The entire family was becoming concerned about his well-being.

We had no idea that Pete was using heroin. We didn’t know until we got the phone call from the Columbus Police Department the morning of March 1, 1999. We were all in shock when we found out that they found him on the floor from an apparent overdose. The police told our father that he was last seen around 12:30 that night as he was dropped off at his friends’ house and when he was found in the morning around 7:00, he was already dead. We were told that they tried to do CPR on him, but he was already gone. We don’t know at what time he actually died that morning. He was too good of a person to die alone on a cold floor in the middle of the night. That vision will always haunt me. How could this possibly happen?

What we did know is that this beautiful person had thrown away an amazing life and promising future. What would possess him to do this? How could he throw everything away to get high? Why didn’t he tell us? How long had he been using heroin? Did he do too much? Did his body just give up? These were just a few of the questions that we were all thinking that day. I still have a million questions in my head about this tragedy. It has been over 7 years and my heart is still broken. The pain of that morning will never go away. It is etched into my memory forever. I will never forget the looks on my parents’ faces that day. I will never forget how helpless we all felt when he died. No one knew what to say or what to do. We all walked around in a state of confusion for several days.

I will never forget walking up to the casket that held my gorgeous and talented baby brother at his funeral and trying with all the strength that I had to say GOOD-BYE. I must have sat down and walked up there again more than 10 times. How do you say Good-bye to someone who shares every memory that you have? I knew his past and I shared his dreams for the future. I placed an ultrasound picture of our unborn daughter next to his arm and prayed with all the strength that I had that he was safe and sound in God’s hands. I never did say Good-bye. I had no idea how.

Pete and I were born and raised in Norwalk, Ohio. It is a quiet and peaceful town in the heart of Ohio, near Lake Erie. We are the children of Steve and Marcia Rinner.   We had a typical small town upbringing with a loving extended family. We spent many days out at our grandparent’s farm, playing sports in the summer months with the neighborhood kids, roller skating and spending time with our friends.

Pete was tested at an early age and placed into advanced classes in elementary school. School work came easy to Pete and he was always looking for a challenge. When he died, my parents received a sympathy card from the teachers that had Pete as an elementary student. He was the type of person to always leave an impression on people. He was an intelligent, compassionate, outgoing and honest person. A lot of people have told me that Pete had a lot of friends because he was always genuine and sincere. He could strike up a conversation with anyone and leave as friends.

Pete was a straight A student throughout middle and high school. He was awarded a partial academic scholarship. He was always ready to have a good time. As you can see by the photos, Pete was a very handsome young man. He had amazing blue eyes that you just felt you could tell your story to. Pete always took time to listen to people.

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